Well, shit. It seems like I apparently have my head so far up my own ass that I apparently haven't noticed that the world around me seems to be falling apart around me and I feel like such a major cocksickle.

There has been so much shit happening and so many changes upon me that I've reacted and responded to others around me in ways that i simply wouldn't normally I just feel terrible about it all around.

I've blown people off, fallen off the face of the earth, withdrawn so far into my own skin that others seem to have faded far away and to tell you the truth I've been fighting a horrid war with myself and it has been a dark and terrible place and I've pushed others away because I've been too raw to have anyone close and the only one I really trust right now is my gf because we have history together and she knows me better than anyone I know and quite bluntly won't fuck me over and decimate my being, so if I have turned into a seething beast, and you have been on the receiving end of my horror, I'm so very sorry.

Most of the people I've pissed off probably won't read this, but I just feel necessary to absolve myself of this soul cancer so I can move on and get the fuck out of this pit I've so graciously thrown myself into the last couple of weeks.

Gods that feels better.

Move along now, nothing more to see here now.